Chinese Studies - For our leaders, it's child's play to babble on

ENTERTAINMENT / Hot Pot Column






For our leaders, it's child's play to babble on

By Raymond Zhou (China Daily)
Updated: 2007-06-01 14:12



Today is International Children's Day. Some of our officials just are
pouring out so much love for children that it is becoming unbearable.

A few days ago, a group of officials in Wuhan descended upon a gathering
of children. Busy as they were, they were fashionably late for the
occasion. The children waited under a scorching sun as if they were
sesame seeds to be dried and packaged. When the ceremony finally began,
the officials started their customarily ponderous speeches, one after
another. The gist was, as I can imagine, how children are our future,
etc. They might not have heard the Whitney Houston song but can all
recite the lines.

The band leader, a boy of 11, fainted in the heat.

This has become something of a ritual. A few months ago, in another part
of the country, a group of kids shivered in freezing cold as they were
dressed in flimsy costumes while waiting for a similar function. And
another incident had the children drenched in a downpour.

In the old days, officials saw themselves as the sunshine that brought
warmth and happiness to the masses. The masses, on the other hand, were
literally called "ants", and, of course, children were cutesy ants, ready
to be displayed and paraded like taxidermies.

Things are much better nowadays. We talk down to kids as if their IQ is
in single digits. We drone into them slogans that they turn around and
make into instant jokes.

We adults like to use words, lots of them, to drive the point home
without realizing that actions speak louder than words. In the above
cases, the officials have taught two lessons that the kids wouldn't
forget anytime soon.

First, punctuality is only for lowly species. If you are at the bottom of
the food chain, you must arrive first for a chance to be "received". The
higher you are in social pecking order, the longer you should keep others
milling around in rain or shine or cold.

Second, verbosity is a sign of stature. If you can turn a simple sentence
into five pages, you are a bureaucratic Shakespeare. Never mind the Bard
said brevity is the soul of wit.

Come to think of it, these officials are secret admirers of the
Supergirls. They want the audience to weep and swoon. They want fans who
will wait for hours to exhibit their loyalty. They want their every
syllable to be ecstatically absorbed and hungrily devoured.

So, perhaps we should hold a television contest for them, too. Let them
hone their skills of pomposity. Whoever turns the most vacuous words into
the longest speech gets into the final round.

To add a touch of reality, we can bring in wind machines, rain machines
or dozens of high-wattage lights to simulate the elements. The most
unruffled get extra points.

Of course, there should be text-message voting. But only school-age
children are eligible to vote. The ubiquitous panel of judges should not
be made of celebrities, but of those kids who fainted or caught a cold in
the above stories.

Let's call the show Revenge of the Underaged and make it a Children's Day
pastime.


(China Daily 06/01/2007 page20)
















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